| Location | Ashford Kent |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 12/2007 |
| Date of Death | 12/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,713 since 05/06/2008 |
| Creator |
Leon Jay Bullock
Born sleeping on 11th December 2007
Aged 0
When I found out I was pregnant with you Leon, I was so excited, I knew I wanted you from the start.
You were a BIG suprise. You already had a big sister and brother waiting for you and now all we
needed was you little man.
I had a pretty easy pregnancy with you apart from not being able to walk because of SPD. Which I
would do again in an instant if it were to bring you back Leon.
I was in the kitchen when my waters went on the 7th Dec 07 at 5.30 pm I was only 32 weeks so I
phoned my Midwife Marion who was fantastic. She told me to ring labour ward and they told me to go
in and get checked out. On the way I started to have contractions and when I got to the labour ward
they gave me steroids to strengthen your little lungs. The Dr told me I would probably meet you
soon. I was petrified as you were still supposed to be in Mummies tummy for another 8 weeks.
I was in hospital for 2 long nights and 2 long days Leon waiting for you to come, but you were
staying put for now weren't ya. Things settled down and on the Sunday I was sent home although you
weren't moving as much, I told the Drs and they ignored me.
I had to go back to the hospital on Monday for a routine appt for my SPD, but on the Sunday night I
really felt strange, you weren't moving at all and I knew then that you had become an angel, I was
so scared and didn't tell anyone as I didn't want to admit you were gone. I miss you so much baby.
I went on the Monday for my appt and as she scanned my tummy the sonographer said the worst words I
have ever heard "I'm so sorry, but your baby has died". I started screaming and collapsed on the
floor and asked the lady to check again, She did, and said the same agian. Well Leon my world just
caved in around me and I couldn't do anything.
Auntie Gem called Daddy and he got Grandad to drop him off it was all so wrong!!! When Daddy got to
the hospital I didn't know he didn't know you were gone and just sat there crying. Then Daddy said
is he dead and that was when I had to admit that yes, you were gone. I phoned Nanny and she was just
as distraught as me, she was on her way to support us.
I had to go into this room and they were all talking about me giving birth to you, Well I didn't
even think about that, I wanted to keep you safe in my tummy forever, with me forever. But I didn't
keep you safe darling did I?
I had to take this tablet to bring on labour, I couldn't do it at first but I knew I had to. I
wanted to meet you but I was so scared to also. My emotions were all over the place. Auntie Rhea was
waiting outside the room when I came out and she looked just as devastated as I was.
Me, Daddy, Nannie, Grandad and auntie Rhea went home to wait for the tablet to work. I was so scared
Leon.
I just floated around the house all day waiting for you to come, I was in a state of shock and wasnt
really functioning.
At 11.30pm that night I was sitting on the sofa and I felt a pop, I thought it was my waters but
when I went to the toilet it was blood and lots of it. I said to Mum to call the labour ward and
they said to go straight in.
Me, Daddy and Nannie made our way to the hospital. On the way I started to get contractions. When we
got there a midwife told me to do a urine sample, I said "whats the point my baby is dead?". She was
called Annette and she had had a stillbirth also. She was lovely and very caring.
My labour progressed and I had you Leon on 11th December 2007 at 2.45 in the morning. You were a big
boy for your age (32 +5 weeks) 4lb 15oz.
I loved you from the moment I saw you. You were the most beautiful little boy I had ever seen. I
held you for a while then Annette cleaned you up and dressed you in oversized clothes, you see we
were told you would be big and we only had 0-3 month clothes for you.
Me and Daddy held you for about 3 hours and then I couldn't take anymore it was too upsetting Leon
seeing you like this it was the hardest thing I ever had to do,leaving you there. We went home to
your brother and sister, bless them they knew something was very wrong but not what. Your brother
Luke kissed my tummy and I tried with all my might not to cry. Your sister Lauren and Luke had to go
to school so I kept it together till they went then I just lost it. I kept crying for my baby boy
and Nannie said it was like an animal cry.
The next few days were a blur with funeral arrangments and cards. I just couldn't get my head around
the fact we were burying our SON.
The 20th December is the day we buried you Leon. The service was hard but Sarah the humanist who did
the service was really lovely. We played Take That Rule the world, Coldplay Yellow and Snow Patrol
Open your eyes.
We miss you more each day my little angel and I think of nothing else. I hope you know how much we
all love you baby boy.
Love and floaty kisses Mummy, Daddy, Lauren, Luke, Nannie and Grandad, Grandma and Grandad, Auntie
Rhea and your cousin Eden. xxxxxxxxx
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_/_, -._`_______)___(________ '_, -.__..
(_(___`._____, '_____`.______, '___)_)
_.._..____..__, '________`.____/___ /_/__
__`.`._, '_/_____________.._ _`._, ', '____
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Most people walk in and out of your life.
......oooO.......... ....
.....(....).....Oooo ...
......)../.....(.... )....
.....(_/.......)../. ....
...............(_/.. .....
But only Loved ones leave footprints
in your heart. Good night angel xxxxx
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Baby Tears
We cried tears when we learned that a child would be, that your GOD had allowed you to quicken in me. We cried tears with our loved ones as they shared our joy, and we thought about names for a girl or a boy. I cried tears as I thought of the things that we would do, all the things that your Daddy would pass on to you. And I cried as I thought of each inch you had grown, as I pondered the day you’d make yourself known. Then, to think of the world you must enter brought fears. Once again, little loved one, your Mother cried tears.
Something’s wrong, I can tell – once again there are tears, and I’ll not get the chance of your love through the years. Oh the ache and the sorrow and all of the pain, and again, yes again, my tears fell like rain. Then His peace comes to me as I think of you there, gently rocking with FATHER in His favorite chair. Your sweet little fingers clenched tight in His palm and His SON softly singing to help keep you calm. Our FATHER knew you days before they came to be, and He knew, little one, you would not stay with me. So, I cry but I know that when this life is done, I will greet and embrace you my little sweet one. There’s a time to be born and a time to die, and the joy and the sorrow both make us cry!
We are the ones god chose to take
we are the ones you could not wake
we are the buds you see on a tree
we are the ones whose spirit runs free.
We are the bulbs you may plant in the spring
we are the sound when you hear the birds sing
we are the ones that could not cry
we are the ones he chose to die.
Our tears are the tips of the morning dew
we are the ones that you never knew
we are the rain thats left on the grass
the test for life we did not pass.
We are the bees you hear hum
we had no voice to call you mum
we are the forest that fragrance the wood
to be with you,if only we could.
We are the sun,the clouds,the moon
we are the blooms that went to soon
we are the stars that shine above
we are the ones you could not love.
Forget-me-nots thats what we are
we grow in your garden not very far
we are the heart broken in two
we are the ones who belong to you.
We are the ones you could not share
we are the empty space you see there
so really you see us in every way
FORGET-ME-NOT FOR EVERY DAY.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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_________|____, '(_)`.____|____ _____
_________..___( ._|_. )___/_________
__________..___`.__, '___/__________
__________.-`.______ _, '-.__________
________, '__, '___`-'___`.__ `._______
_______/___/_____X__ ___..___..____
_____, '____/_____o______. .___`.___
___, '_____|______x_____ __|_____`._
__|_____, '|_______o_______|` . _____|
___`.__, '_.-.._____x______/ -._`.__, '__
_________/_`.____o__ __, '__.._______
__.''-._, '______`._:_, '_______`., -''.__
_/_, -._`_______)___(________ '_, -.__..
(_(___`._____, '_____`.______, '___)_)
_.._..____..__, '________`.____/___ /_/__
__`.`._, '_/_____________.._ _`._, ', '____
___`.__.-'_____ _________`-.___, '____
Most people walk in and out of your life.
......oooO.......... ....
.....(....).....Oooo ...
......)../.....(.... )....
.....(_/.......)../. ....
...............(_/.. .....
But only Loved ones leave footprints
in your heart. Good night angel xxxxx
██ 20% *___*
███ 40% *___*
████ 60% *___*
█████ 80% *___*
██████ 100% *__ * ANGEL
THE CORD!
We are connected, my child and I,
by an invisible cord not seen by the eye.
It’s not like the cord that connects us at birth,
this cord can’t be seen by any on earth.
This cord does its work right from the start,
it binds us together, attached by the heart
I know that it’s there, though no one can see
this invisible cord, from my child to me.
The strength of this cord,
it’s hard to describe,
it can’t be destroyed, it can’t be denied.
It’s stronger than any cord man could create;
it withstands the test, can hold any weight.
And though you are gone and you’re not here with me,
the cord is still there though no one can see.
It pulls at my heart, I am bruised, I am sore,
but this cord is my lifeline as never before.
I’m thankful that God connects us this way,
a mother and child…Death can’t take it away.
Goodnight precious angel xx
Angels refer to celestial beings who are believed to be in a higher plane of the universe. They protect, guard and have a lot of compassion for human souls. Most times, we find that a particular project that has been in a complacent stage has suddenly become active. You feel the miracle and find a new zest or hope in life. This is when we thank God and the angels up there.
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Good morning angel xx
¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•
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Goodnight precious angel xxxxxxxxxxxx
A Mothers prayer
An emptyness that I now feel,
since you left I love you still.
For you the pictures I have drawn,
but my pain goes on and on.
I miss you now, but your safe up there,
And I know your near.
Listen as I pray at night,
for you will always hear.
If I had one wish come true,
My only wish would be for you.
To hold you in my arms once more,
Tell you I love you, forever and more.
And now my son if I may near,
I'm saying that I love you dear
with all my loving heart,
I'll never forget you.
I loved you from the start
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