| Location | Ashford Kent |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 12/2007 |
| Date of Death | 12/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,713 since 05/06/2008 |
| Creator |
Leon Jay Bullock
Born sleeping on 11th December 2007
Aged 0
When I found out I was pregnant with you Leon, I was so excited, I knew I wanted you from the start.
You were a BIG suprise. You already had a big sister and brother waiting for you and now all we
needed was you little man.
I had a pretty easy pregnancy with you apart from not being able to walk because of SPD. Which I
would do again in an instant if it were to bring you back Leon.
I was in the kitchen when my waters went on the 7th Dec 07 at 5.30 pm I was only 32 weeks so I
phoned my Midwife Marion who was fantastic. She told me to ring labour ward and they told me to go
in and get checked out. On the way I started to have contractions and when I got to the labour ward
they gave me steroids to strengthen your little lungs. The Dr told me I would probably meet you
soon. I was petrified as you were still supposed to be in Mummies tummy for another 8 weeks.
I was in hospital for 2 long nights and 2 long days Leon waiting for you to come, but you were
staying put for now weren't ya. Things settled down and on the Sunday I was sent home although you
weren't moving as much, I told the Drs and they ignored me.
I had to go back to the hospital on Monday for a routine appt for my SPD, but on the Sunday night I
really felt strange, you weren't moving at all and I knew then that you had become an angel, I was
so scared and didn't tell anyone as I didn't want to admit you were gone. I miss you so much baby.
I went on the Monday for my appt and as she scanned my tummy the sonographer said the worst words I
have ever heard "I'm so sorry, but your baby has died". I started screaming and collapsed on the
floor and asked the lady to check again, She did, and said the same agian. Well Leon my world just
caved in around me and I couldn't do anything.
Auntie Gem called Daddy and he got Grandad to drop him off it was all so wrong!!! When Daddy got to
the hospital I didn't know he didn't know you were gone and just sat there crying. Then Daddy said
is he dead and that was when I had to admit that yes, you were gone. I phoned Nanny and she was just
as distraught as me, she was on her way to support us.
I had to go into this room and they were all talking about me giving birth to you, Well I didn't
even think about that, I wanted to keep you safe in my tummy forever, with me forever. But I didn't
keep you safe darling did I?
I had to take this tablet to bring on labour, I couldn't do it at first but I knew I had to. I
wanted to meet you but I was so scared to also. My emotions were all over the place. Auntie Rhea was
waiting outside the room when I came out and she looked just as devastated as I was.
Me, Daddy, Nannie, Grandad and auntie Rhea went home to wait for the tablet to work. I was so scared
Leon.
I just floated around the house all day waiting for you to come, I was in a state of shock and wasnt
really functioning.
At 11.30pm that night I was sitting on the sofa and I felt a pop, I thought it was my waters but
when I went to the toilet it was blood and lots of it. I said to Mum to call the labour ward and
they said to go straight in.
Me, Daddy and Nannie made our way to the hospital. On the way I started to get contractions. When we
got there a midwife told me to do a urine sample, I said "whats the point my baby is dead?". She was
called Annette and she had had a stillbirth also. She was lovely and very caring.
My labour progressed and I had you Leon on 11th December 2007 at 2.45 in the morning. You were a big
boy for your age (32 +5 weeks) 4lb 15oz.
I loved you from the moment I saw you. You were the most beautiful little boy I had ever seen. I
held you for a while then Annette cleaned you up and dressed you in oversized clothes, you see we
were told you would be big and we only had 0-3 month clothes for you.
Me and Daddy held you for about 3 hours and then I couldn't take anymore it was too upsetting Leon
seeing you like this it was the hardest thing I ever had to do,leaving you there. We went home to
your brother and sister, bless them they knew something was very wrong but not what. Your brother
Luke kissed my tummy and I tried with all my might not to cry. Your sister Lauren and Luke had to go
to school so I kept it together till they went then I just lost it. I kept crying for my baby boy
and Nannie said it was like an animal cry.
The next few days were a blur with funeral arrangments and cards. I just couldn't get my head around
the fact we were burying our SON.
The 20th December is the day we buried you Leon. The service was hard but Sarah the humanist who did
the service was really lovely. We played Take That Rule the world, Coldplay Yellow and Snow Patrol
Open your eyes.
We miss you more each day my little angel and I think of nothing else. I hope you know how much we
all love you baby boy.
Love and floaty kisses Mummy, Daddy, Lauren, Luke, Nannie and Grandad, Grandma and Grandad, Auntie
Rhea and your cousin Eden. xxxxxxxxx
When tomorrow starts without me
and I'm not here to see...
If the sun should rise and find your
eyes filled with tears for me,
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today...
While thinking of the many things
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
as much as I love you...
And each time you think of me,
I know you'll miss me, too.
But when tomorrow starts without me,
please try to understand...
That Jesus came and called my name
and took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready
in heaven far above...
And that I'd have to leave behind
all those I dearly love.
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart...
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.
I hope ur having lots of fun
enjoy ur holiday lione i bet u ,mummy,daddy,lauren luke are having so much fun give mummy the streangth to carry on without u she misses u so bad my love to all the family.xx
JUST LETTIN....
...U KNOW..........
.................... .....
.....oooO........... ...
.....(.....)......Oo oo....
...........(.......( …...)....
.........._).......) ..../.....
...................( __/.......
.................... ......
......oooO.......... ....
.....(…...)…...O ooo...
...........(…….. (.....)....
.........__).......) …/.....
..................(_ _/.......
... I.....was.....here xxx
Love Anji XXXXXXX
For u Leon x
15th october 2008
please pass this on to remember our little ones Xx
------------O------- ----
-----------OO------- -----
----------OOOO-----------
---------OOOOO------ ----
---------OOOOO------ -----
---------OOOOO------ ---------
----------OOOO------ ---------
-----------OOO------ -----------
------------OO------ --------------- WEDNESDAY
---------OOOOOO----- ----------
---------OOOOOO----- -----------15TH
---------OOOOOO----- ----- ----
---------OOOOOO----- ----------- OCTOBER
---------OOOOOO----- ---------
---------OOOOOO----- -------------IS
---------OOOOOO----- --------
---------OOOOOO----- -------- PREGNANCY
---------OOOOOO----- -----
---------OOOOOO----- --- --- AND
---------OOOOOO----- -----
---------OOOOOO----- ---------- INFANT
---------OOOOOO----- --------
---------OOOOOO----- -------LOSS
---------OOOOOO----- ---------
---------OOOOOO----- ----------REMEMBERENCE
---------OOOOOO----- ----------
---------OOOOOO----- --------DAY
Take a moment of your day
To maybe sit and in your mind
Think of all the precious babies
Yours, theirs and mine
Those whose short lives were over
Before they had really ever begun
Those precious little bundles
Who have made us all a Mum
Their tiny lives have touched us all
And what I want to say
They have brought us all together
Each and every day
The babies whose beautiful faces
In our minds forever will be
Whose names are etched within our hearts
For anyone, the whole world to see
The babies who touched our lives
Who we think of through our tears
I hope in time we will be able to smile
When we remember them through the years
So this week while we remember
All our babies who had to go
We shall show the world we are united
And how we love and miss them so
xX Please pass this on to remember our little ones Xx
------------O------- ----
-----------OO------- -----
----------OOOO-----------
---------OOOOO------ ----
---------OOOOO------ -----
---------OOOOO------ ---------
----------OOOO------ ---------
-----------OOO------ -----------
------------OO------ --------------- WEDNESDAY
---------OOOOOO----- ----------
---------OOOOOO----- -----------15TH
---------OOOOOO----- ----- ----
---------OOOOOO----- ----------- OCTOBER
---------OOOOOO----- ---------
---------OOOOOO----- -------------IS
---------OOOOOO----- --------
---------OOOOOO----- -------- PREGNANCY
---------OOOOOO----- -----
---------OOOOOO----- --- --- AND
---------OOOOOO----- -----
---------OOOOOO----- ---------- INFANT
---------OOOOOO----- --------
---------OOOOOO----- -------LOSS
---------OOOOOO----- ---------
---------OOOOOO----- ----------REMEMBERENCE
---------OOOOOO----- ----------
---------OOOOOO----- --------DAY
Take a moment of your day
To maybe sit and in your mind
Think of all the precious babies
Yours, theirs and mine
Those whose short lives were over
Before they had really ever begun
Those precious little bundles
Who have made us all a Mum
Their tiny lives have touched us all
And what I want to say
They have brought us all together
Each and every day
The babies whose beautiful faces
In our minds forever will be
Whose names are etched within our hearts
For anyone, the whole world to see
The babies who touched our lives
Who we think of through our tears
I hope in time we will be able to smile
When we remember them through the years
So this week while we remember
All our babies who had to go
We shall show the world we are united
And how we love and miss them so
____________$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$
_________$__________ _____$$
____ __$___________________$$ ____________$$ _$$
_ ____$___________________ _$$________$$____$_$$
____$_______________ _______$$_____$$_____$__ _$$
____$_______________ ________$$____$$___$$___ _$$
___$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$__ _________$$_$$___$$_____ _$$
____$$__________$$__ _________$$_$$__$$______ _$$
______$__()____$$___ _______$$__$$__________$ $
__ _____$________$$________ _$__$$___________ $$
_______$$________$$_ ______$_$$______________ $$
________$~~______$$_ _____$_$$______________$ $
__________$_____$$__ __$$___$ ______________$$
____________$$$$$$$$ $$ _$$$______________$$
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_______________ _$____$_____$__________$ $
_______________ $____$______$_________$$
____$$$$$$____$ _ ___$_______$________$$
____$$___$$__$$_ ___$_______$__$$$$$$
_____$$___$$__$___$ ________$_$$$
______$$____$$____$_ ________$_$
_______$$__$_$___$__ ______$___$
__ ______$$$__$___$_______$ ____$
________$_ $__$___$_______$____$
________$_$___$__$ ______$_____$
________$$$___$_$___ ___$______$
________$$_$__$_$___ _$$_______$
_ ________$$$___$___$$____ _____$
_________ $$_$___$$$$__________$
_________$__$$$$$ ____________$__$$__$$$
________$___________ ______$$__$$$$$$___$
________$___________ _____$___$___$$__$$
_______$____________ ____$__$_______$$___$
_______$____________ _________$_________$$___ __$
_______$____________ ________$__________$$_$_ ___$
_______$____________ ________________$$$__$$$ $$
Good night angel xx
I know I am still with you
in your prayers, your thoughts, your heart
And though you cannot see me,
I will always be a part
of life's sweet celebrations
in those times when you reflect
on how, though things are different,
through our love, we still connect.
We'll see each other someday
when our spirits all are free,
until then, I am with you
because you remember me.
xxxxxxx
_______.. ` /`__________' .. ' /______
________`-/___' a___a`___..-'______ __
_________|____, '(_)`.____|____ _____
_________..___( ._|_. )___/_________
__________..___`.__, '___/__________
__________.-`.______ _, '-.__________
________, '__, '___`-'___`.__ `._______
_______/___/_____X__ ___..___..____
_____, '____/_____o______. .___`.___
___, '_____|______x_____ __|_____`._
__|_____, '|_______o_______|` . _____|
___`.__, '_.-.._____x______/ -._`.__, '__
_________/_`.____o__ __, '__.._______
__.''-._, '______`._:_, '_______`., -''.__
_/_, -._`_______)___(________ '_, -.__..
(_(___`._____, '_____`.______, '___)_)
_.._..____..__, '________`.____/___ /_/__
__`.`._, '_/_____________.._ _`._, ', '____
___`.__.-'_____ _________`-.___, '____
given to you with all my love xxxxx love to mummy xxxx
Hi leon fly high and spread all your love to mummy and daddy xxx I will leave you all my love xxx
______________#_____ ____ #
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_____#___##___##_### ##_##___##___#
______#__##____## XXXXX ##____##__#
_______#__##____#### ##____##__#
_______#___##____--. .......____##__#
_______#___##____... .......____##__#
______#____##____### ##____##___#
_____#____##____#### ###____##___#
____#____##_____#_## #_#_____##___#
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_____#___#____#_____ ____#____#__#
______#_____##______ _____##____#
_______#___#________ ______#___#
________#_# _______________
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