| Location | Ashford Kent |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 12/2007 |
| Date of Death | 12/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,712 since 05/06/2008 |
| Creator |
Leon Jay Bullock
Born sleeping on 11th December 2007
Aged 0
When I found out I was pregnant with you Leon, I was so excited, I knew I wanted you from the start.
You were a BIG suprise. You already had a big sister and brother waiting for you and now all we
needed was you little man.
I had a pretty easy pregnancy with you apart from not being able to walk because of SPD. Which I
would do again in an instant if it were to bring you back Leon.
I was in the kitchen when my waters went on the 7th Dec 07 at 5.30 pm I was only 32 weeks so I
phoned my Midwife Marion who was fantastic. She told me to ring labour ward and they told me to go
in and get checked out. On the way I started to have contractions and when I got to the labour ward
they gave me steroids to strengthen your little lungs. The Dr told me I would probably meet you
soon. I was petrified as you were still supposed to be in Mummies tummy for another 8 weeks.
I was in hospital for 2 long nights and 2 long days Leon waiting for you to come, but you were
staying put for now weren't ya. Things settled down and on the Sunday I was sent home although you
weren't moving as much, I told the Drs and they ignored me.
I had to go back to the hospital on Monday for a routine appt for my SPD, but on the Sunday night I
really felt strange, you weren't moving at all and I knew then that you had become an angel, I was
so scared and didn't tell anyone as I didn't want to admit you were gone. I miss you so much baby.
I went on the Monday for my appt and as she scanned my tummy the sonographer said the worst words I
have ever heard "I'm so sorry, but your baby has died". I started screaming and collapsed on the
floor and asked the lady to check again, She did, and said the same agian. Well Leon my world just
caved in around me and I couldn't do anything.
Auntie Gem called Daddy and he got Grandad to drop him off it was all so wrong!!! When Daddy got to
the hospital I didn't know he didn't know you were gone and just sat there crying. Then Daddy said
is he dead and that was when I had to admit that yes, you were gone. I phoned Nanny and she was just
as distraught as me, she was on her way to support us.
I had to go into this room and they were all talking about me giving birth to you, Well I didn't
even think about that, I wanted to keep you safe in my tummy forever, with me forever. But I didn't
keep you safe darling did I?
I had to take this tablet to bring on labour, I couldn't do it at first but I knew I had to. I
wanted to meet you but I was so scared to also. My emotions were all over the place. Auntie Rhea was
waiting outside the room when I came out and she looked just as devastated as I was.
Me, Daddy, Nannie, Grandad and auntie Rhea went home to wait for the tablet to work. I was so scared
Leon.
I just floated around the house all day waiting for you to come, I was in a state of shock and wasnt
really functioning.
At 11.30pm that night I was sitting on the sofa and I felt a pop, I thought it was my waters but
when I went to the toilet it was blood and lots of it. I said to Mum to call the labour ward and
they said to go straight in.
Me, Daddy and Nannie made our way to the hospital. On the way I started to get contractions. When we
got there a midwife told me to do a urine sample, I said "whats the point my baby is dead?". She was
called Annette and she had had a stillbirth also. She was lovely and very caring.
My labour progressed and I had you Leon on 11th December 2007 at 2.45 in the morning. You were a big
boy for your age (32 +5 weeks) 4lb 15oz.
I loved you from the moment I saw you. You were the most beautiful little boy I had ever seen. I
held you for a while then Annette cleaned you up and dressed you in oversized clothes, you see we
were told you would be big and we only had 0-3 month clothes for you.
Me and Daddy held you for about 3 hours and then I couldn't take anymore it was too upsetting Leon
seeing you like this it was the hardest thing I ever had to do,leaving you there. We went home to
your brother and sister, bless them they knew something was very wrong but not what. Your brother
Luke kissed my tummy and I tried with all my might not to cry. Your sister Lauren and Luke had to go
to school so I kept it together till they went then I just lost it. I kept crying for my baby boy
and Nannie said it was like an animal cry.
The next few days were a blur with funeral arrangments and cards. I just couldn't get my head around
the fact we were burying our SON.
The 20th December is the day we buried you Leon. The service was hard but Sarah the humanist who did
the service was really lovely. We played Take That Rule the world, Coldplay Yellow and Snow Patrol
Open your eyes.
We miss you more each day my little angel and I think of nothing else. I hope you know how much we
all love you baby boy.
Love and floaty kisses Mummy, Daddy, Lauren, Luke, Nannie and Grandad, Grandma and Grandad, Auntie
Rhea and your cousin Eden. xxxxxxxxx
The Wings Of An Angel
So Pure And So White,
The Wings Of An Angel
Holding You Tight,
The Wings Of An Angel
Caressing Your Skin,
The Wings Of An Angel
Keeping The Love Within.
These Wings From An Angel
Are My Gift To You,
These Wings From An Angel
Will Help See You Through. xxxxxxxxx
Wish we could be together
Thinking of you
Makes the miles disappear,
Together we're looking at bright decorations,
Enjoying what we like to do,
Thinking of you makes the miles disappear~
For you're missed very much
All year through…
So just because you're
Far away, don't think
For a moment that you're forgotten.
I'm thinking about you because loving thoughts travel far,
And wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
And wishing you were here xxxxx
What My Child Has Taught Me
I've learned that you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I've learned that learning to forgive takes a lot of practice.
I've learned that friends can become strangers, and strangers can become friends.
I've learned that ignorance isn't an excuse for the lack of compassion.
I've learned that some people will never, ever - "get it".
I've learned that the community of sorrow is the strongest of all.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of minutes.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.
I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
I've learned that love isn't measured by the amount of time you have with someone.
I've learned that some sorrow is so deep that it has no words. But so is love.
As your heart aches each day, look at the stars as smiles from the many angels that heaven holds. Thank you for touching my heart ♥
my thoughts are with u.xx
Hi Lanie i just want u to know imhere for u i know its so hard 4 u as its Leon's b day in 2 days and he should be here celebrating with u all.I also wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LEON HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U.XXX HIP HIP HORAY HIP HIP HORAY. I dont think i will be able to get on here on his birthday. love u.xxxxxxxxx
When a loved one dies,
It breaks our hearts,
The minutes, hours, days and years,
Never truely takes our pain away,
The parting is not forever,
They are waiting at the gates,
An outstretched hand, a beaming smile,
With a voice that says i've been here a while,
I'm glad you came, life up here was not the same,
We are together again, reunited in love,
And free from all our parting pain.
xxxxxxxxxx
Just letting you know I was here
......oooO.......... ....
.....(....).....Oooo ...
......)../.....(.... )....
.....(_/.......)../. ....
...............(_/.. .....
to leave my love xxxxxxxx
______.. ` /`__________' .. ' /______
________`-/___' a___a`___..-'______ __
_________|____, '(_)`.____|____ _____
_________..___( ._|_. )___/_________
__________..___`.__, '___/__________
__________.-`.______ _, '-.__________
________, '__, '___`-'___`.__ `._______
_______/___/_____X__ ___..___..____
_____, '____/_____o______. .___`.___
___, '_____|______x_____ __|_____`._
__|_____, '|_______o_______|` . _____|
___`.__, '_.-.._____x______/ -._`.__, '__
_________/_`.____o__ __, '__.._______
__.''-._, '______`._:_, '_______`., -''.__
_/_, -._`_______)___(________ '_, -.__..
(_(___`._____, '_____`.______, '___)_)
_.._..____..__, '________`.____/___ /_/__
__`.`._, '_/_____________.._ _`._, ', '____
___`.__.-'_____ _________`-.___, '____
Good night angel xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
sweetdreams Leon
.................... ...JUST
.................... ..............D
.................... .............R
.................... ...........O
.................... ..........P
.................... ........P
.................... ......E
.................... ....D
.................... ........B
.................... ..........Y
.................... ..................T
.................... ................O
.................... .S
.................... ...E
.................... .....N
.................... .......D
.................... ...............S
.................... ..............O
.................... ............M
.................... ...........E
...................L
.................... .O
.................... ...V
.................... .....E
_____****__________* *** ______
___***____***____*** __ *** ____
__***________****___ ____***____
_***__________**____ _____***__
_***________________ _____***_
_***________JUST____ _____***_
__***_____SENDING___ ___***___
___***______LOVE____ ___***____
____*** _______________***
______***___________ ***_______
________***_______** *_________
__________***___***_ _________
____________*****___
Today, Jesus, as You are listening
in your home above;
Would you go and find Leon
and give him all my love.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
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Good night Master Leon xxxxxxxx
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