| Location | Ashford Kent |
| Age | 0 |
| Cause of Death | Still Birth |
| Date of Birth | 12/2007 |
| Date of Death | 12/2007 |
| Visitors | 3,713 since 05/06/2008 |
| Creator |
Leon Jay Bullock
Born sleeping on 11th December 2007
Aged 0
When I found out I was pregnant with you Leon, I was so excited, I knew I wanted you from the start.
You were a BIG suprise. You already had a big sister and brother waiting for you and now all we
needed was you little man.
I had a pretty easy pregnancy with you apart from not being able to walk because of SPD. Which I
would do again in an instant if it were to bring you back Leon.
I was in the kitchen when my waters went on the 7th Dec 07 at 5.30 pm I was only 32 weeks so I
phoned my Midwife Marion who was fantastic. She told me to ring labour ward and they told me to go
in and get checked out. On the way I started to have contractions and when I got to the labour ward
they gave me steroids to strengthen your little lungs. The Dr told me I would probably meet you
soon. I was petrified as you were still supposed to be in Mummies tummy for another 8 weeks.
I was in hospital for 2 long nights and 2 long days Leon waiting for you to come, but you were
staying put for now weren't ya. Things settled down and on the Sunday I was sent home although you
weren't moving as much, I told the Drs and they ignored me.
I had to go back to the hospital on Monday for a routine appt for my SPD, but on the Sunday night I
really felt strange, you weren't moving at all and I knew then that you had become an angel, I was
so scared and didn't tell anyone as I didn't want to admit you were gone. I miss you so much baby.
I went on the Monday for my appt and as she scanned my tummy the sonographer said the worst words I
have ever heard "I'm so sorry, but your baby has died". I started screaming and collapsed on the
floor and asked the lady to check again, She did, and said the same agian. Well Leon my world just
caved in around me and I couldn't do anything.
Auntie Gem called Daddy and he got Grandad to drop him off it was all so wrong!!! When Daddy got to
the hospital I didn't know he didn't know you were gone and just sat there crying. Then Daddy said
is he dead and that was when I had to admit that yes, you were gone. I phoned Nanny and she was just
as distraught as me, she was on her way to support us.
I had to go into this room and they were all talking about me giving birth to you, Well I didn't
even think about that, I wanted to keep you safe in my tummy forever, with me forever. But I didn't
keep you safe darling did I?
I had to take this tablet to bring on labour, I couldn't do it at first but I knew I had to. I
wanted to meet you but I was so scared to also. My emotions were all over the place. Auntie Rhea was
waiting outside the room when I came out and she looked just as devastated as I was.
Me, Daddy, Nannie, Grandad and auntie Rhea went home to wait for the tablet to work. I was so scared
Leon.
I just floated around the house all day waiting for you to come, I was in a state of shock and wasnt
really functioning.
At 11.30pm that night I was sitting on the sofa and I felt a pop, I thought it was my waters but
when I went to the toilet it was blood and lots of it. I said to Mum to call the labour ward and
they said to go straight in.
Me, Daddy and Nannie made our way to the hospital. On the way I started to get contractions. When we
got there a midwife told me to do a urine sample, I said "whats the point my baby is dead?". She was
called Annette and she had had a stillbirth also. She was lovely and very caring.
My labour progressed and I had you Leon on 11th December 2007 at 2.45 in the morning. You were a big
boy for your age (32 +5 weeks) 4lb 15oz.
I loved you from the moment I saw you. You were the most beautiful little boy I had ever seen. I
held you for a while then Annette cleaned you up and dressed you in oversized clothes, you see we
were told you would be big and we only had 0-3 month clothes for you.
Me and Daddy held you for about 3 hours and then I couldn't take anymore it was too upsetting Leon
seeing you like this it was the hardest thing I ever had to do,leaving you there. We went home to
your brother and sister, bless them they knew something was very wrong but not what. Your brother
Luke kissed my tummy and I tried with all my might not to cry. Your sister Lauren and Luke had to go
to school so I kept it together till they went then I just lost it. I kept crying for my baby boy
and Nannie said it was like an animal cry.
The next few days were a blur with funeral arrangments and cards. I just couldn't get my head around
the fact we were burying our SON.
The 20th December is the day we buried you Leon. The service was hard but Sarah the humanist who did
the service was really lovely. We played Take That Rule the world, Coldplay Yellow and Snow Patrol
Open your eyes.
We miss you more each day my little angel and I think of nothing else. I hope you know how much we
all love you baby boy.
Love and floaty kisses Mummy, Daddy, Lauren, Luke, Nannie and Grandad, Grandma and Grandad, Auntie
Rhea and your cousin Eden. xxxxxxxxx
♥ ♥
I Wish I Could See You One More Time
Come Walking Through My Door
But, I Know That Is Impossible
I Will Hear Your Voice No More
I Know You Can Feel My Tears
And You Don’t Want Me To Cry
Yet, My Heart Is Broken
Because I Can’t Understand Why
Someone So Precious Had To Die
I Pray That God Will Give Me Strength
And Somehow Get Me Through
As I Struggle With This Heartache
That Was Caused By Losing You
♥♥
♥ May the winds of love ♥
♥ blow softly and whisper ♥
♥ in your ear how much ♥
♥ we love and miss you ♥
♥ and wish that you were here♥
♥xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx♥
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______________________________
_______.. ` /`__________' .. ' /______
________`-/___' a___a`___..-'______ __
_________|____, '(_)`.____|____ _____
_________..___( ._|_. )___/_________
__________..___`.__, '___/__________
__________.-`.______ _, '-.__________
________, '__, '___`-'___`.__ `._______
_______/___/_____X__ ___..___..____
_____, '____/_____o______. .___`.___
___, '_____|______x_____ __|_____`._
__|_____, '|_______o_______|` . _____|
___`.__, '_.-.._____x______/ -._`.__, '__
_________/_`.____o__ __, '__.._______
__.''-._, '______`._:_, '_______`., -''.__
_/_, -._`_______)___(________ '_, -.__..
(_(___`._____, '_____`.______, '___)_)
_.._..____..__, '________`.____/___ /_/__
__`.`._, '_/_____________.._ _`._, ', '____
___`.__.-'_____ _________`-.___, '____
GOOD NIGHT LEON XXXXXX
In my dreams you are alive and well
Precious Child, Precious Child
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious Child, Precious Child
In my soul, there is a hole
that can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
'Cause you are with me still
In my heart, you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious Child, you left too soon
Tho it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever...in my heart
In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious Child, Precious Child
But in this world, I was left to grieve
Precious Child, My precious Child
God knows I want to hold you
see you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then
+ . . * + * * . + * .*.++
. * + * JUST * + .
+ . . * + . + * . * +
* . + *SHOWING .* + .
+ . . * + . + * . * + .
+ , *SOME. + * LUV+ *
+ . . * + . + * . * + .*
.TO * * + . * THIS.* .
. * + * * + . *+ *
+ ..ANGEL.. * + . +
+ ....* + . + * . * +
xxxxxxxxx
Love Lives On
Those we love remain with us
for love itself lives on,
and cherished memories never fade
because a loved one's gone.
Those we love can never be
more than a thought apart,
for as long as there is memory,
they'll live on in the heart.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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...........)/(/( \|........
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..____|__|____.....
(____________)...
GOOD MORNING ANGEL XXXXXXXX
Just letting you know I was here
......oooO.......... ....
.....(....).....Oooo ...
......)../.....(.... )....
.....(_/.......)../. ....
...............(_/.. .....
to leave my love xxxxxxxx
The Little Ship
I stood watching as the little ship sailed out to sea. The setting sun tinted his white sails with a golden light, and as he disappeared from sight a voice at my side whispered, "He is gone".
But the sea was a narrow one. On the farther shore a little band of friends had gathered to watch and wait in happy expectation. Suddenly they caught sight of the tiny sail and, at the very moment when my companion had whispered, "He is gone" a glad shout went up in joyous welcome, "Here he comes!"
Christmas Without You
Christmas without you here with me,
can never possibly be the same.
But I carry an Angel within my heart;
one so precious, who has your name.
An Angel forever watching over me,
at Christmas time, and over the year.
Although you can't be here anymore,
inside my heart, you are so very near.
There is no special present for you,
wrapped up under my Christmas tree.
But I have a greater gift to give to you;
all the love you can still feel from me.
No, Christmas time without you here,
could not ever possibly be the same.
But, I have had the precious gift of you,
and the memories and love, will remain.
XXXXXXXX
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